Toxic Abuse: When The Fog Clears

Toxic Abuse. When you live with or are married to a toxic person, the marriage is devoid of any emotion or anything else on their part, unless they want something. When they can give, it’s a brief episode to reel you back in, but you will not realize this until you have been through the cycle many times. This circular enclosure contains many sharp triangles. Ouch! They have affairs and do the most unbelievably horrible things. You are not aware of the part you play in this game and are not to blame. You just don't realize what is going on. You give affection, love, and a connection. Over time, you begin to feel like you are doing something wrong. There is an unhomely atmosphere of wrongness that lingers in the house. Whatever you try does not work, it makes things worse. Your constant attempts are laughed at or met with nothing. In your naive state, you carry on giving, like a hamster on a wheel trying to escape. But until you wake up, you will never see the open door. The puppet m...

So, most of us would say we are not evil. But could being false and portraying yourself as something you are not, enhance your ability to hurt others? Do those who are far from themselves tend to have the biggest defense?  Well, they do need it after all. Many people are not themselves, as in following a path of grounded self-love. They cannot bring this internal need out into the real world to give to others. They simply do not have it. Behaviour in the external world is a reflection of within Therefore, anyone who has high levels of narcissism will come out with horrid words and behaviors. Deciding to act in disturbing ways to others. Does this mean they cannot be expected to bestow what they do not gift themselves? Dealing with them: Are the actions of people pleasing and being subordinate the answer? But there is a price to pay. For as you give your time, your energy. Do everything to enhance their life, you deflate and become disorientated. Mothering yourself might have to co...

Not for many years, but actually thousands, humans have been talking, painting, and drawing about what we call angels. Far from being an endangered species, it seems that they have always been there. Possibly somewhere between what we see and what we do not see. Something against the light, or even showing itself within the sudden streams of light that enter a room. Some of us even see a broader spectrum of light. Are these the lucky ones who can see something invisible to everyone else?  You think you see something, but you turn away. What if that something was actually trying to come into your life to help you or guide you? From Metatron, who acted as a celestial scribe to the Book of Life. To the author   Lorna Byrne , who has written many successful and rich books telling us of her interactions with angels throughout her life, these beautiful visitors from God seem to be making a comeback. Metatron was a robust winged messenger of the Kabalah and thought to have once...

Growing up with abusive, toxic siblings sets you up to accept vile behaviours from others in your adult life. You are brainwashed into believing that this is the norm from an early age. You might not even realize this until years later when you crawl out from under the dark veil that has blinded you. Walking On Eggshells In your quest to keep safe in the toxic family, you learned to tippy toe around the house, not being noticed. The Family Punchbag From an early age, you were targeted. As a baby, the invisible label of family scapegoat was carefully placed on you. The golden child or other siblings' noses have been firmly put out of joint by the new baby's arrival. You became the prey. In families where the parents had no time or perhaps were themselves somewhat toxic, or ignorant of what was going on, the newly named scapegoat will live the life of an emotional and sometimes physical punch bag. The jealous and spiteful siblings, (yes there can be more than one. They ...

Think about the statement opposites attract. Does it make sense in terms of relationships? In a nontoxic relationship that has mutual respect, having the opposite interests and outlook would work if the couple communicated honestly and genuinely. But with nothing in common, it might be a struggle. In a toxic relationship, opposites seem to come together. Say for instance you see yourself as kind, generous, and giving. Over many months, you start dating someone. They flatter you. Chemistry is great, and they go that extra mile by picking you up from work and organizing your leisure time. You may have some doubts as they are not that talkative and a bit moody. Every time you wonder a bit about this person, they somehow seem to sense it, and suddenly become ill and need you.  Or have a surprise waiting for you or seem to draw you back in somehow. And on you go, feeling the deep discord in your stomach, but ignoring the indigestion. Over time, you realize you are with someone cold...

Trauma : a word that has been left out in the rain for many years and neglected. It is now a buzzword, that is not only currently buzzing around, but also very real for many people. So where do you go for help if you have had a traumatic childhood or have been in a toxic relationship? Did you know there is a correlation between trauma trapped in the body and becoming ill? Within the pages of the renowned book, The Body Keeps the Score, written by one of the leading experts in his field, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk , we find answers to many questions we might have. If you do not have a copy, then this is a book you might want to purchase. I was told about this book by my friend who is a chiropractor when I was studying massage, and it changed my life. In this blog, we are not going to focus on what another person did to drive trauma into you. Doing so could retraumatize anyone reading this, which would show them they need to release that trauma. My intention is not to produce flashbacks i...