Toxic Abuse: When The Fog Clears

Toxic people constantly meddle in other people's lives when they see something they want or want passion with that person.  They have many plates spinning. You will never be "the one". You will be one of many. They are never contented, no matter how rich they are. How many partners they have, or possessions that they own. Basing your worth on receiving love from someone like this is a foolish thing to do. You are like chalk and cheese. One person is deeply fulfilling and has substance and the other crumbles as they are barren and have no self-love. They use every trick in the book to get what they want, to bring some moisture, and content into their lives, but it will always dry up. It's a dessert in there. The toxic one You see, if you do not like yourself or have had an emotionally cold childhood and have not repaired that hole you will have nothing to give anyone else. You might even believe everyone owes you love, attention, and anything you want. Because you hurt

So, what do you tell yourself about you? Do you beat yourself up with words, and replay those old scenarios that make you feel repeatedly? Or do you tell you that you love and respect yourself? That you are good enough, loveable, and wanted. What about accepting yourself for who you are. You know, when we are around others who pick us to shreds, we learn to do this to ourselves. You can spend so much time with a negative person, that the messages they gave you about yourself seem hardwired to your brain. And this is the flip on the reality that was spun to you. A negative parent or other might have surrounded you with negative messages. Both non-verbal and verbal. Try weaving in new words...   Imagine you are making a new way forward and only the right words will help you on your journey. Posative affirmations, and spending time cleansing yourself of the trauma left in you will smooth the path ahead.  What about trying something new such as Yoga, EMDR, The Tapping Method, Massage, and

You may think you are a mere cat, a mere mog, of patches & stripes. But look in the mirror and you will see the Tiger within. Over a long period, living with a person or family that has no regard for you will detrimentally affect your health. It is like standing on a rug and having it pulled from beneath you. In fact, if we think about the tales of  Tigers from old, we could even say that it is like standing on a magic carpet, that doesn't work.  Alakazam!! A magical journey was promised, or expected, and you in your sleep state jumped on board. But the magic carpet would not budge and when you complained to the supplier, it was swiftly removed. You trippped, fell over, and the genie promised you a better experience next time. So you jumped on board again, and guess what happened? Lessons we avoid By going to a land of make-believe in our heads. we avoid what is in front of us. You retreat to that place in times of stress as an adult. When you were a child, it was ok to do this

We arrive in this human realm. Sometimes smoothly, sometimes not. Birthdays:  How you celebrate your birthday is a very special thing. The experience, when living with a narcissistic family mob or partner becomes a drama, a play. There might be some genuine celebrations during the growing years with a family. You might be given a huge party as a child, and everyone in your class at school is invited. Even the ones that bully you.it is not your party, remember that... But if there is no love, then it feels shallow and all about the person, or team providing it  A celebration of their organization skills, cooking, and so on. As your little guests leave you might come away feeling deflated, let down. And if your misery is detected, which it will be. You will be told you should be grateful, look what we did for you. Ah, but oh no, it was about them as usual. The adoration must flow around a king or queen bee's. In this  Waltons-like family where the whole system is a reversal of what

I suppose in my life I began to see the truth very early on. As young as maybe four or five. You see, being told you are not wanted and treated so at an early age I believe makes you the young analyst of the family. But not for some. Sadly many others go downhill, get involved with the wrong crowd, or maybe do not realise that this is not all there is to life. Maybe they cannot read, and that limits your way out of an unusual childhood. Tiggy, that is me, and I call myself that as that is the name grandmother called me as she hugged me. I was hers, and hers alone. And I loved her dearly. And Tiggy, again, that's me, spent most of my time with this Liberty print lover, my dearest granny, as a very young girl. Lots of cuddles and knitted toys, poems, and fun. Granny was deeply spiritual, a follower of Mary Baker Eddy, and she made sure I understood whom to center myself on. And indeed that is the source in my life, of the strength within me. I was not told of her death in hospital, i

Every day is a chance to bloom, to start again. Yesterday has gone and you can release the past, and take steps to go forward. Blossoms are blown away every year, but this doesn't stop the tree from growing... Some inspiration for you... Not everything sweet is good. Sometimes what is bitter might cause change, which helps us to change our ways. A lesson learned can be the starting point to a healthier destination... What would you rather have? Learn the lesson, change, and move on. Many people who have experienced toxic abuse spend their whole lives blaming themselves needlessly for the actions of others. Trauma becomes stagnant and they become ill. It doesn't have to be this way. Yes, it happened . Yes, you are allowed to be angry. And yes, you need to release those pent-up emotions. Why not try martial arts, Qigong...or one of my favourites: Run or walk to somewhere safe and then stand in the wind and scream...scream angrily into a stormy wind and let it out. Or scream into