Ouch! Toxic Abuse is sharp!

Toxic Abuse.

When you live with or are married to a toxic person, the marriage is devoid of any emotion or anything else on their part, unless they want something.

When they can give, it’s a brief episode to reel you back in, but you will not realize this until you have been through the cycle many times. This circular enclosure contains many sharp triangles.

Ouch!

They have affairs and do the most unbelievably horrible things.

You are not aware of the part you play in this game and are not to blame. You just don't realize what is going on. You give affection, love, and a connection. Over time, you begin to feel like you are doing something wrong.

There is an unhomely atmosphere of wrongness that lingers in the house. Whatever you try does not work, it makes things worse. Your constant attempts are laughed at or met with nothing. In your naive state, you carry on giving, like a hamster on a wheel trying to escape.

But until you wake up, you will never see the open door.

The puppet master is at work and guess who they have dangling.

(Women can be master puppeteers as well, and we should not forget that.)

Photograph::Robert Zunikoff on www.unsplash.com

Happiness

can be restored if you forget about yourself though and become subservient and dependent on the scraps of closeness you get once in a while. Meanwhile, the world is against them, (covertly playing the victim) and you are here to make them feel better.

You do not have affairs but instead, give your entire body of energy to this vampire. And when you have finally had enough and you are depleted, they decide to move on. Painting you, whether you are a man or woman as a jezebel and uncaring, to hide the truth, play the victim, and recruit flying monkeys.

The tribe of the toxic that all say the same things!

“You're over-sensitive!”

“I'm only joking, love you really!”

“I put up with you looking like that, you should be grateful!

“I would rather have a relationship with a dead body, than you!”

“Why should I want to do that if you won't pay for this?” (car deposit, house deposit, their loans)

A weapon called a child

They say “Look (child's name) mummy, (or if female), Daddy's being horrible” When all you did was try and organize a nice weekend or talk to them about anything.

Or: The child enters the room, and for no reason they say “Sorry!, sorry!," to you, and then turn to the child and say "It’s ok (child's name) they're just being nasty to me again” in a pity me tone. The child hugs them and tells you off. You stand there shocked at the kitchen sink. Your baby is being turned against you and there's nothing you can do. You try to explain to people and they just don’t understand.

The child then starts seeing you differently and the abuser as a victim. And because you have given the narcissist a good P.A. to keep the peace, why would the child think anything else!

These are just some strategic tactics used by a toxic person.

 (It means if you break up, hopefully the child will side with them). They do not healthily love the child, but weaponize them. They do this with everyone, (triangulations), and will give attention to the little one when the child behaves to please them.

You have done all the looking after and nursing and loving, and therefore when you finally separate the abuser will go for the jugular. A child's soul is easy meat for a wolf.

© Sonya Vukomanovic/Lawrence 26.10.2023

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