Toxic abuse, yes, it's safe to stop here

Trauma: a word that has been left out in the rain for many years and neglected.




It is now a buzzword, that is not only currently buzzing around, but also very real for many people.

So where do you go for help if you have had a traumatic childhood or have been in a toxic relationship?

Did you know there is a correlation between trauma trapped in the body and becoming ill?

Within the pages of the renowned book, The Body Keeps the Score, written by one of the leading experts in his field, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, we find answers to many questions we might have. If you do not have a copy, then this is a book you might want to purchase. I was told about this book by my friend who is a chiropractor when I was studying massage, and it changed my life.

In this blog, we are not going to focus on what another person did to drive trauma into you. Doing so could retraumatize anyone reading this, which would show them they need to release that trauma. My intention is not to produce flashbacks in those who a susceptible to them. We will however be looking at what to look for in a current relationship such as behaviours and red flags. These give you an early indication that something is not right.

You might look back to those formative years and see that you had a bumpy childhood as well. We are going to talk about moving forward in life, acceptance, and giving you the tools to start reparenting yourself, accepting yourself, and why taking on new habits might be something you consider. Also, using new words and methods to bring you back onto your path.
Some children report that they feel like the stork delivered them to the wrong house.

Then as they attended school, they felt trapped in a clear snow dome. Feeling numb, cut off.

Outside they can see families having fun and brothers and sisters playing together. Somehow, they are not part of that. The shame placed on their backs by the abusers in their lives, (whether that is at home or somewhere else) keeps them quiet and withdrawn or wanting to explode with anger. From my research, both of those reactions exist separately or together as the child's mood patterns swing from one extreme to the other. All of these create even more problems for the lonely, unloved, self-loathing, neglected child.

The other telling sign can be rigidity, and this is something I carried with me through my childhood and later shed through realization and yoga. By the time I left school, I looked like I had a broom pole shoved up my back.

So, remember, you are not alone and many people, from the famous to the bloke in the corner shop have experienced events that traumatized them. You are no longer required to own the shame and the trauma. By keeping it within, you never recover, and your childhood can be mirrored in your adult life. Then timid or without any sense of self-love or having no boundaries, you could find yourself unwittingly attracting a whole new set of abusers or a narcissistic partner.

If we do not undo the damage done in our childhoods, we cannot reach what our calling is in life. We carry that transparent wall with us and still try and deal with this adult world through the eyes and capabilities of a damaged child. Attracting wolves and predators. Playing dangerous games with a variety of different-looking people, but who are all the same underneath. Toxic people, who make a beeline towards your warm heart, open arms, and low tolerance levels.

You may as well fill your house with diamonds and gold and leave all the doors and windows open with the lights on.

You see, your magic, your beautiful self is your gift and hopefully this blog will help you reclaim the magic you have in you.

https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/

© Sonya Lawrence/Vukomanovic 02/10/2023

@ Tiggy Sonya

Find me here on Medium and here at The Sales Recruitment Network. Here for my sales communications blog and here for my Tiggy Sonya's Art, Music, Nature, and Book Patch




  

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