Toxic Abuse: When The Fog Clears

A ring leader decided you would be highlighted as a target, and there we go. Your school days are ruined by a toxic group.  Is the group headed by the chief toxic protected? Some would say yes. Others would say they are vulnerable and if we try to understand them we will find a fragile person, lashing out. Does that make ruining someone's life ok? You could even say that hurt people hurt people. Well, maybe they do.  If you are a parent of a child that has been bullied throughout school or for a time you will know the misery it causes. What seems to happen is that the victim is portrayed as the trouble maker and the group bullying, is then allowed to continue their reign of narcissism. This makes being part of that group appealing, as who wants to be bullied. Teachers and schools can enable narcissistic behaviors. And this is not about criticizing teachers. They do a hard job that most of us would not want to do.  So, children who have been hurt can hurt people? Bringing ...

When still living with the toxic one you you cannot see the part you play. Worst still, you do not realize they are with a highly skilled person who specifically chose you because of your suitable qualities. You fit together with the abuser like a plug and socket. You are in fact the power supply. Once you have been plugged in a while, you will keep on supplying them, enabling them, and making excuses for them for being so empty, manipulative, and abusive. Slowly yourself drains away. You are the ideal candidate for a partner. The first step is to realize that you have certain qualities that appeal to these types. Maybe, you had an abusive childhood. As a result of that abuse, you exhibit certain behaviors that attract those who score high on the scale of narcissism. Are you outwardly anxious? : You freeze, avoid, or maybe faun Toxic types are great observers. They stand back and clock how others interact and who they can play each individual. Now, I'm not on about those people who...

Do you expect too much from them? Do you repeat the following to yourself?  Why can't this person have a two-way conversation? Why, when I put everything into being open and communicating fairly. Treat them so well, why do they treat me so bad? There is a clue there you know. Being fair to someone or an organization who takes shots at you, pulls you down, and cannot be like you, because they are not, is like standing beside a large puddle and then being surprised when a car comes along and you get covered in water. Great Expectations is a wonderful book. But looking to others to treat you fairly, when some people are never going to do that, is at the least naive. Or at worst possibly co-dependent. This may sound harsh, but your need for all others to treat you well is a case of false expectations. Accept it. It has everything to do with them but is not your business. A percentage of the population that does not treat others well. Why they do this, is really not your concern. Getti...