Toxic Abuse: When The Fog Clears

A ring leader decided you would be highlighted as a target, and there we go. Your school days are ruined by a toxic group.  Is the group headed by the chief toxic protected? Some would say yes. Others would say they are vulnerable and if we try to understand them we will find a fragile person, lashing out. Does that make ruining someone's life ok? You could even say that hurt people hurt people. Well, maybe they do.  If you are a parent of a child that has been bullied throughout school or for a time you will know the misery it causes. What seems to happen is that the victim is portrayed as the trouble maker and the group bullying, is then allowed to continue their reign of narcissism. This makes being part of that group appealing, as who wants to be bullied. Teachers and schools can enable narcissistic behaviors. And this is not about criticizing teachers. They do a hard job that most of us would not want to do.  So, children who have been hurt can hurt people? Bringing the anger

Friends will say, hey why don't you just leave? If it is that bad, then leave, or stop going on about it" So, like many people, you slowly believe you are going mad. You cannot see the part you play. Worst still, you do not realize you are with a highly skilled person who specifically chose you because of your suitable qualities. You fit together with the abuser like a plug and socket. You are in fact the power supply. Once you have been plugged in a while, you will keep on supplying them, enabling them, and making excuses for them for being so empty. Your whole day will become consumed in pleasing them. So, how do you get out of that cycle? The first step is to realize that you have certain qualities that appeal to these types. Maybe, you had an abusive childhood. Or, you became caught up in the net of a strategist, and when they came across you, you ticked all the boxes. A good catch. Now, this is going to sound extreme, but when we look at serial killers and so on, we often

Do you expect too much from them? Do you repeat the following to yourself?  Why can't this person have a two-way conversation? Why, when I put everything into being open and communicating fairly. Treat them so well, do they treat me so bad? There is a clue there you know. Being fair to someone or an organization who takes shots at you, pulls you down, and cannot be like you, because they are not, is like standing beside a large puddle and then being surprised when a car comes along and you get covered in water. Great Expectations is a wonderful book. But looking to others to treat you fairly, when some people are never going to do that, is at the least naive. Or at worst possibly co-dependent. This may sound harsh, but your need for all others to treat you well is a case of false expectations. Accept it. It has everything to do with them but is not your business. A percentage of the population that does not treat others well. Why they do this, is really not your concern. Getting i