Toxic Abuse: When The Fog Clears

A couple of years ago, my oldest sibling, who I called to see how he reacted to me and gauge if the harassment  I went through in my divorce had anything to do with my family answered the question for me. Stating, that he wanted nothing to do with me, after what I had "done what you did" (to this day I imagine I have had numerous lies spread by my childhood abusers), and just before he slammed the phone down, he then stated that he was nothing to do with the Family Vendetta against me. Initially shocked, I then realized that this fitted. You see, I had seen the other brother who had hit me numerous times as a child,whilst going through the early harassment. I had seen him turn up in my hometown in Derbyshire when all the harassment had really begun. In fact, three doors up from where I lived. .  Walking into a neighbours house , one summer evening with his wife...the owner of the house beckoned them in and signaled that I had not recognized them whilst weeding. I had also see

 My earliest memory is of lying in a cot, or a bed. Hands are prodding my stomach, and I am screaming. Then everyone is shouting at me to be quiet. Then the whole house erupts. That child, you know, the troublesome one is crying again ..... The toxic home environment is the opposite of a healthy one. The group that lives there is like a pack of attention-starved animals. If the parents or caregivers do not have enough time to go around then producing a late baby in an already full household creates an unwanted child. What is worse, is when parents do not install boundaries or discipline or they do not recognize that the older children are already starved of attention because of them and the new arrival is a very unwanted sibling. This sets the child up to be the scapegoat. And at different times different siblings use the child to triangulate, to get a reaction, maybe some attention, some love from the toxic parent. At other times the narcissistic parent uses the child for the same. I&