Toxic Abuse: When The Fog Clears

Why did we stop learning... Well, maybe because it is hard and painful. You might have to admit to being wrong about something. Even acknowledge your part.  And that latter is a hard one. As a large community of people, it does not make someone popular when they put their hand up and shout out loud that we are doing  something wrong. Thousands of men and women who have experienced toxic relationships all report the same behaviour, words, and actions in one way or another. So why are they not believed? Or are told by professionals they are imagining things, making it up. What is this all about? Time and time again, in domestic abuse cases, we see the same outcomes. Two plus two always equals four. Certain behaviors in abusers always lead to death or near-fatal injuries to the victim. It happens every week somewhere. If you attend a Freedom Course in England, you will meet many women who have had relationships and marriages to toxic abusers of varying degrees. You may be convinc...

Learning can be painful. The pain that comes from experiencing toxic abuse can truly ache for months. Some would say that acceptance of those feelings and going with them for however long they last is the only way to grow. You want and hope to come out the other side a different person. You will. Those who have experienced toxic behaviors from others change. They change a lot. Some become a shadow of their former self. The blood and will, the drive to live, are drained from the body. Those people are the unlucky ones.  They are the ones who refuse to learn from the experience. But who can blame them? Sometimes the thick blanket muffles the brain, confuses, and disorients. Does feeling the pain and re-learning how to live again in a different way carve out a different path for you? Maybe it is circumstantial as well. If you have come out of marriage intact, that is a bonus. Some do not survive the escape. Some of us who came out alive cry for those we know who, through no fault of t...