Brain-trained: Opening The Door To Change

Brain-trained: Toxic family, friends, partners, or whoever decided to treat you that way, you were brain-trained.

So once they are no longer in your life. The chances of you sabotaging new friendships are very high.

The new people in your life are not aware of what you have been through. Therefore they have no idea that if they have had a bad day, made a mistake (which we all do), or are talking about something that hits one of your soft spots, it will trigger you, or give you a flashback. For you, there is no quick fix. Sticky plasters will not work. It will take time, research, and finding your own way of releasing that trauma from your body, to start to heal those wounds. Everyone heals in their own way.

But what is central to your healing is that you realize that as an adult, no one has any power over you, unless you give it to them. They might of when you were a child, but not now...

You can release the hurt, anger, and pain, resentment, self-blame inside you. At the same time please know that only you can give others power over you, and that is simply not something you will ever allow again. You are your own boss, with your own self, needs, and desires. 

You matter to you

Sometimes your narc thermometer will go off, and it might be that this person is having an off day, but you can find out and then make your decision on how to progress from there. Do not self-isolate.

Can your  Internal Compass be wonky?

The gaslighting, triangulations, and games leave you in a fog. You now orienteer life the wrong way round. You have been deeply influenced into putting other's needs first. Especially if you grew up in a narcissistic family system. You go on and support other people's journeys to please them and get pulled all over the place. This is because of your not so great for you capacity and survival technique of accepting this as normal.  You need to face this in truth, and yes that's hard, but the long-term benefits are worth it. That is why we need to bring this internal confusion that puts others first into the light. You have to travel through life from your perspective as that's the only way forward. Yes, there are times to look out for others. But never put yourself to one side or on the back burner to please others. We know that is foolish and we know that the Bible backs us up on that. Once you have grown your roots, you are strong and grounded in your growth, yes you can help others in positive ways. 

Although it seems somewhat harsh, being magnetically pulled this way and that is a fool's journey..


S.Lawrence/Vukomanovic 12.04.2024 © All work and images.


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