Toxic Abuse: When The Fog Clears

This grim holiday, a time before the whole thing falls apart is a façade. This is the holiday of the toxic relationship for as long as it naturally lasts or comes to a jagged or blunt end. Ignoring and not calling out gaslighting and especially triangulation allows it to grow. The dark tried that involves resentment, dishonesty, and arrogance sometimes spends a lot of its time with a gradually fading person who for many reasons, does not allow themselves to face the truth and get the hell out of there.   Learning to keep your mouth shut can be developed in the playground, at home with the family, or at the children’s home. Abusers always lurk where they might find a victim. Where there has been abuse in the formative years and until the child can escape, the coping mechanism of lying to themselves regarding the conduct of others allows the young person to cope. Therefore, lying to others, and covering up for them, is a well-trodden pathway of the violated brain. We therefore as a...

When life has treated you harshly, you can choose resentment, and anger or you can choose to act differently, and that is what we find written below… Once upon a time, not so long ago and well, quite often, there lived a young lady called Peggy. The poor girl's home life was torrid, and she was not loved or mothered and spent her days doing chores and hiding in her room. And like so many little girls that grow up to be big girls, there was a lot of wisdom that needed to be learned. Well, Peggy had one passion and that was sewing. Being so poor, she put her needlecraft skills to use and altered hand-me-down clothes to fit her and made herself a small pair of thin fabric shoes. Oh, and how she wished those shoes were real leather and made by a cobbler. She would do anything to be in a better pair of shoes or have more friends. One day as Peggy walked to school, she met an old man. He was a ragged poor gypsy and asked Peggy if she could spare a slice of her lunch bread or a bit ...

  Narcissistic abuse, which is a torrential onslaught against you, not only mentally but physically slowly grinds you down. It is a multi-directional approach to killing you softly, whilst hiding you away from possible suspecting eyes while smiling to the outside world as they block you, stop you from sleeping, place pillows over your head to muffle the screams, steal your address book and hide you in their mousetrap. You will be pawed at and rolled over by the wolf. Your veins might trickle with rouge as it gets rougher, but to the animal, this is a sign they are winning. You will be let go off for a while, and then they draw back in. You will get to the stage where you do not know your mind. Your phone is bugged, and your emails are monitored. Your best friends have been slept with, or they hate you due to your “beloved ones” tales of woe—or both. If you were not parented. Abused or suffered enough trauma as a child, the likelihood of ending up marrying or living with a perso...