No matter what happened in the past, you cannot fix it. Whether it was two weeks ago or twenty years ago, the best thing to do is learn the lessons it has taught you and move on.
Briefly, the story goes like this:
" Genesis 19, when Lot and his wife have just fled Sodom and Gomorrah. God is about to destroy the two cities, but in His grace, He allows them to escape with specific instructions: “Run for your lives! Don’t look behind you or stop anywhere in the valley” (v. 17). "
We have Sodom and Gomorrah, which we know from the bible to be places of evil. God tells the group to run for their lives and not stop in the valley. There we have the third clue, and the third party is you. A triangle of the two places and then we have those wishing to escape.
When you live with a toxic group or person, your home life is of course toxic, and your outer life as well. What is on a certain frequency can only attract what is willing to tune into it. Your at-home life (one) and your outside-the-home life (two), consist of what seems to be the same toxic experiences.. Imagine living for years with a hellish noise, in the end, you (third point of the triangle) get used to it.
This verse below is fascinating and metaphorically tells us much about the repercussions of looking back.
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"Lot’s wife looked back longingly and was turned into a pillar of salt. (v. 26)"
Like a statue looking back over her shoulder, she is calcified, turned into a pillar of salt.
When toxicity is all you have known
Toxicity sends out familiar signals. In this case, Lot's wife still feels the pull, the magnetic attraction to what is bad for her.
Escaping from God's plans to bring down evil is reflected in the journey of a narcissistic/evil triad victim. Being blind to what is around you, cannot set you free. Your anchor will always hold within the veil, and be there when you finally see the light and escape, with guidance. Intervention happens for many and God may intercede. But stopping in the valley, yes, that rut, that depression is a trap. You need to go forward and not look back. Then deal with the withdrawal and learn what is normal, good, and loving.
Find yourself again.
When you keep your focus on what is behind you, you cannot see where you are going. It is like driving a car and constantly looking through your rear mirror. You will crash.
You might say, but hey you, I need to analyze it, sit with it. Some might say, you do not. From speaking to others about their experiences of time spent under duress from a toxic situation. I would personally say there is a correlation between experiencing psychological abuse and then later being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Could this be because many people are looking behind, or trapped in what happened, the trauma causing havoc in their bodies? I am not qualified in any way to say that, but it seems to come up over and over again.
Initially, you require a safe distance, away from the evil you have experienced. No avenging, because that is feeding into what you have left behind. That means physically, spiritually, and, psychologically.
At a safe distance, of time as well, you need to understand that you are not alone in the experience of living in Sodom and Gomorrah (entrenched with a toxic person or group). Accepting and acknowledging the games you went through will hurt. You will not like it. But it will pass.
You might be angry at them, angry at yourself. Feel it, it will pass and there you have it, the lesson has entered you and you will not entertain such abnormal behavior or actions again. Remembering to focus on the good things in your life, that make you happy, is always a helpful way to think. Sitting in that valley (depression) is not. Its up to you.
Sometimes, a good person can be fenced in, and enveloped by evil.
Escaping is a very rough journey,
And longing for what was familiar back then is a poisoned arrow sent to make you look back to Sodom and Gomorrah and take your focus off the God/ The Good ahead of you.
All writing apart from quotes Lawrence/Vukomanovic © 15/17/2024
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